June 2010
1 post
I was outside of Denver’s comedy club, walking with my bicycle, and I accidentally hit a woman with my handlebars. She said “whoa, watch it buddy. Do that again and I’ll get you back”. And to that I said “that’s Cool, but how big are your handlebars? ” and just like that, a hate crime was averted.
January 2010
1 post
oh shit
I have a crazy phone now
November 2009
3 posts
Join Rudy 2008 →
In case anybody was worried, yes, you can still contribute to Rudy Giuliani’s 2008 Presidential campaign.
Remember back when...
Remember back when Joe Lieberman was the vice presidential candidate in 2000? Isn’t that fucked up?
Ford reports surprise profits →
I’m sorry, but how do come into work one morning and all of a sudden, “We profited $997 million in the 3rd quarter? Wow, what a pleasant surprise!” ?
Seriously, does anybody know anyone who bought a Ford? Even my parents are smarter than that.
October 2009
25 posts
I love it when real news sounds like The Onion...
Barack Obama, the US president, has signed into law a $680bn defence budget for the next fiscal year… “I have always rejected the notion that we have to waste billions of dollars of taxpayer money to keep this nation secure,” Obama said at the signing ceremony.
Our annual defense budget is $680 billion dollars… and the country is haggling over healthcare reform that...
The 237 Reasons Why Women Have Sex →
littleorphanammo:
talix18:
gamesockson:
sparklepants:
The 1 reason I have sex: horniness.
#2: I was told there would be tacos.
#3. I just wanted a pizza!
#4 CSI Miami is a repeat
#5 Abortion addiction
Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine is joining a group of bands including REM, Pearl Jam, and Nine Inch Nails who are filing a lawsuit to de-classify documents relating to how music was used to torute inmates at the Guantanamo Bay detention center. “Guantanamo is known around the world as one of the places where human beings have been tortured - from waterboarding to stripping, hooding...
“For the first time in more than 35 years, the U.S. military has met all of its...”
– The Washington Post
Boulder's men the second-hottest in the country →
Yes, I am single…laaaaaaaadies….
“I often speak with Noam Chomsky, and inevitably at the end of the conversation,...”
– David Barsamian of Alternative Radio at my neighbor’s house after a showing of Robert Greenwald’s new film, Rethink Afghanistan.
The film horrifying, like any great documentary should be, and helped put into perspective that we (you, me, most Americans, most people in the government)...
What I've learned in my Visual Studio WPF course
WPF has way too many features you can’t find in IntelliSense to make full use of
You can get a lot of reading done when using public transport for 3.5 hours a day
Drinking a cup of coffee every hour can put you in an altered state and make you hear your heart beat in your ears
Middle-aged professionals can be just as inattentive and prone to cell phone/internet distraction as college...
Report looks at hidden health costs of energy... →
“Generating electricity by burning coal is responsible for about half of an estimated $120 billion in yearly costs from early deaths and health damages to thousands of Americans from the use of fossil fuels, a federal advisory group said Monday.”
Finally somebody is translating non-monetary costs into monetary amounts.
$5.4M fine proposed against US Airways over... →
Here’s an a way to help with the federal budget crisis… why don’t we start heartily enforcing existing safety regulations?
The Illiteracy Epidemic
There are 7 million illiterate Americans
Another 27 million are unable to read well enough to complete a job application
30 million can’t read a simple sentence.
There are 50 million who read at a fourth- or fifth-grade level.
Nearly a third of the nation’s population is illiterate or barely literate.
A third of high-school graduates never read another book for the rest of their...
“The cult of self dominates our cultural landscape. This cult has within it the...”
– Empire of Illusion by Chris Hedges. Thirty pages in, and this book is already great, if for no other reason than the literary transcriptions of reality show scenes and WWF storylines.
My friend Chris: We should go to Dubai before it's gone
You know that show Friends? I just realized how incredibly inaccurate it was. For one thing, there is absolutely no way those six mostly-unemployed assholes could afford those two sweet apartments in NYC. And, for as much coffee as they drank, not one of them EVER ran to the bathroom of the Central Perk to take an emergency shit.
I guess they could have been drinking tea, though.
Has anybody found the picture of the immigration agent pointing a gun in Falcon’s face yet?
Before we get too obsessed with this silver...
Let’s not forget what else happened in the news today: JP Morgan Chase reported $3.6 BILLION in profits in the 3rd quarter. Goldman Saches reported $3.2 BILLION. Major US Banks and securities firms are planning on paying $140 BILLION in compensation this year. Goldman alone will be paying $20 BILLION in BONUSES ALONE. That’s an average BONUS of $700,000 per employee. For fuck’s...
I don’t think increasing troop levels or predator drone strikes are going to be successful strategies. I think it’s time we pull out of Afghanistan completely - and cum all over its chest.
Prologue to The Book of Revelation
Today in the mail I discovered a large glossy brochure that was advertising these events in Boulder. The front cover is a collage containing what I’m guessing is the Romans fighting along side what looks like if you crossed Jason with the killer from Scream, with Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s spiky metallic gloves. There is also a white man’s face (that almost...
Pool hustlin' is my game.
sharingtime:
It’s a pool hall in Denver at 10:30 on a Tuesday night. The place is half full, mostly populated with drunks and people who play pool. I haven’t played in years. So it’s a little surprising when I line up my first shot, hit the cue ball across the table and sink the striped ball. A perfect shot. Then I sink a second ball. Perfect again.
And then my brain switches on. In my head, I...
September 2009
19 posts
Fact of the Day
I’ve fallen asleep in my chair at my desk at work no less than 4 times today.
Is it OK to have a crush on an NPR personality?
It is? Good. Then is it OK to be really excited when said personality’s usual male co-host is temporarily replaced by the show’s female producer, who blogs every morning with links to the same articles I read?
Is it OK to REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoy learning about the pros, cons, and economics of health-care co-ops?
I love Planet...
Celebrity Voices
You know how people will approach celebrities and beg them to do their catch phrase? It must be really weird to be the Hulu.com announcer guy and have people ask you to say “The following program is brought to you with limited commercial interruption by Visa.”
“You listen to KPKA long enough, you feel like splittin’ your wrists…...”
– Some woman running the fund-raising drive for KPFK during Jimmy Dore’s excellent show at http://www.kpfk.org/programs/178-jimmy-dore-live.html (there are podcasts on that page somewhere…)
Sometime in late October of last year, just before the election, and before anyone knew that Nate Silver of fivethirtyeight.com was omniscient, I had this recurring image in my head of the election being stolen by questionable votes in the final swing state, and everybody in Boulder instantaneously running out into the streets of their neighborhoods to protest, and then looking at each other for...
Fact of the Day
Study: US Gave $72 Billion in Fossil Fuel Subsidies Since 2002
Between 2002 and 2008, the federal government gave $72 billion in subsidies to fossil fuels through research initiatives, tax incentives and other programs. At the same time, government spending on traditional renewable energy sources such as wind and solar totaled just $12 billion. Another $17 billion went to ethanol made from corn.
I'm manning my company's booth all alone.
sharingtime:
Considering telling people I own the company and that we raise and train alpacas to be killing machines for use in paramilitary forces in South America and Indochina (is that a real place?).
I think tomorrow you should go dressed in leather and chains and walk up to whoever you’re relieving at the booth, look startled, and say “Oh, is this not the AVN awards?”
On All Things Considered on the way home, I listened to a story about how the new flavored-cigarette ban that goes into effect at midnight is affecting convenience stores and cigar bars in Manhattan. One man said “They’re killing us.” Only he wasn’t talking about cigarettes, he was talking about the new laws that are trying to curb youth smoking by banning smokes that...
You know your self-esteem is low when you feel better about yourself while registering for a new email address and find out that Google thinks your password is “Strong”.
Non-believer Discrimination
From here:
Every single study that has ever looked at the issue has revealed massive amounts of bigotry and prejudice against atheists in America. The most recent data shows that atheists are more distrusted and despised than any other minority and that an atheist is the least likely person that Americans would vote for in a presidential election.
…
The most recent study was conducted by...
“US neoconservative Kristol dies”
– I saw this headline in my news feed this morning and my heart skipped several beats. In a flash, millions of possibilities flashed through my mind of what I could do with my new-found powers… should I use them for good? Evil? Or to simply annoy the people I don’t like in my life like...
Blog Length Over-compensation
So far, writing my first blog entry feels like a first date, except I’m not constantly worrying about drinking too much too quickly and haven’t made any profound quips about bodily functions yet. I can’t escape the self-consciousness of striking that delicate balance between appearing unwittingly intellectual and lackadaisically uncouth. ”Did you hear that Noam Chomsky...