I was outside of Denver’s comedy club, walking with my bicycle, and I accidentally hit a woman with my handlebars. She said “whoa, watch it buddy. Do that again and I’ll get you back”. And to that I said “that’s Cool, but how big are your handlebars? ” and just like that, a hate crime was averted.
I have a crazy phone now
In case anybody was worried, yes, you can still contribute to Rudy Giuliani’s 2008 Presidential campaign.
Remember back when Joe Lieberman was the vice presidential candidate in 2000? Isn’t that fucked up?
I’m sorry, but how do come into work one morning and all of a sudden, “We profited $997 million in the 3rd quarter? Wow, what a pleasant surprise!” ?
Seriously, does anybody know anyone who bought a Ford? Even my parents are smarter than that.
Barack Obama, the US president, has signed into law a $680bn defence budget for the next fiscal year… “I have always rejected the notion that we have to waste billions of dollars of taxpayer money to keep this nation secure,” Obama said at the signing ceremony.
Our annual defense budget is $680 billion dollars… and the country is haggling over healthcare reform that will cost around $900 billion dollars OVER 10 YEARS!
Norm Coleman would have handled this exchange so much better.
The 1 reason I have sex: horniness.
#2: I was told there would be tacos.
#3. I just wanted a pizza!
#4 CSI Miami is a repeat
Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine is joining a group of bands including REM, Pearl Jam, and Nine Inch Nails who are filing a lawsuit to de-classify documents relating to how music was used to torute inmates at the Guantanamo Bay detention center.
“Guantanamo is known around the world as one of the places where human beings have been tortured - from waterboarding to stripping, hooding and forcing detainees into humiliating sexual acts - playing music for 72 hours in a row at volumes just below that to shatter the eardrums,” Morello said.
Meanwhile, John Ondrasik, lead singer for the band Five For Fighting, is filing a similar lawsuit through the Freedom of Information Act to find out if his band was used at Guantanamo, and if so, if anyone down there wanted any of the promo CDs, T-shirts, or autographed 8x10s that are cluttering up his garage.
